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Keisha E. McKenzie | communication | systems | social good

compassion

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Welcome company

The density of bad news is such that we can say a place name, and, just like that, the name conjures up for us the entire tableau of suffering that unfolded there.

Columbine. 

Virginia Tech.

Aurora.

Ferguson.

Maybe we say a person’s name instead.

Islan Nettles. 

Jessie Hernandez. 

John Crawford.

Sandra Bland.

In the last two weeks, there have been so many.

Orlando.

Istanbul.

Dhaka.

Dallas.

Dylan Noble, Fresno, June 25.

Essence Bowman, Sulphur City, July 2.

Pedro Villanueva, Fullerton, July 3.

Alton Sterling, Baton Rouge, July 5.

Philando Castile, Falcon Heights, July 6.

We should not need to share a culture, skin color, religion, or system of government with another human being to mourn their loss. All people suffer at the hands of endless war, as do our planet and our sense of common humanity, and all people deserve peace.” —Aniqa Raihan

After the massacre at Pulse in Florida, I said I didn’t want to feel like I had to trudge through grief alone. And I haven’t.

People directly affected have stepped up. People not directly affected have stepped up. Friends who’ve doubted whether to call or what to say have reached out anyway. Therapists and counselors and chaplains have offered free sessions for individuals and grief-processing circles for groups. Activists have set up healing events so that people who can’t usually access support can.

Humans are being humane. We need more of that.

I appreciated Erica Joy’s meditation on grieving while at work.

And Believe Out Loud’s affirmation of faith strong enough to bear despair.

Even Adventist administrators in this part of the world are wrestling with all the violence and the racism that has birthed it.

We must move beyond the talking stage and begin to actually develop practical ways of dealing with racial intolerance in all of its forms — whether subtle or overt… Now is the time for our local congregations, for our state and regional conferences, for our educational and medical institutions to pray together, to engage in creative thinking together, and then to work together to strengthen what we have in common and bring the hope and healing compassion of Jesus to our communities.” —Daniel R. Jackson and G. Alexander Bryant

We need one another’s company right now, not just to support each other through the emotional turmoil, but also to co-build material, institutional alternatives to surveillance, strife, and slaughter.

It’s beyond “not passing by on the other side of the road,” and beyond simply attending to others’ mid-crisis pain. Claiming each other as neighbors and siblings means going deeper and being determined, despite criticism and fear, to stay there.

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Where is the Love?

“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.” —Erich Fromm

The Fetzer Institute has just launched a video exploring the role that media and social connection can play in promoting love, empathy, and compassion.

Is it as simple as where we focus our attention, the stories we tell, and the images we show? Why do we nurture such a disconnect between the world we say we want and the kind of world we pay to view?

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Reader Recommendation: Odd By God

We think we’re right. We almost always think we’re right, even when we’re wrong. When we suspect we’re wrong and think we have a chance to be right instead, we think differently, choose differently, live differently—all in pursuit of rightness. So what is it that rescues us from fundamentalism?

We are each doing what we believe is right in the world. The problem arises when we do what we believe is right within the untested delusions of our own private snow-globe worlds. Fundamentalism arises when that snow-globe of our understanding becomes the entire universe in which all other beings must conform to the contours and limits of that glass structure or otherwise be punished. Wrestling with Fundamentalism in ourselves and in this world is daunting but necessary work. Because if we settle for doing only what we believe is right–or project that belief onto some idea of God or Government–as our only rubric for action in the world then we will eventually destroy ourselves with our rightness. —Odd by God

So much yes. Read on: “The Club of the Holy Book Destroyers.”

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Videos: Gabrielle Union & Dustin Hoffman

1.

At the 2013 Essence Magazine Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon this February, Gabrielle Union received the Fierce and Fearless Award. Her acceptance speech is remarkable. (It starts at about 1:03 of 11:32.)

Gabrielle Union at the 2013 Essence Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon | via OWN
Gabrielle Union at the 2013 Essence Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon | via OWN

“We live in a town that rewards pretending and I have been pretending to be fierce and fearless for a very long time. I was a victim masquerading as a survivor. I stayed when I should have run. I was quiet when I should have spoken up, and I turned a blind eye to injustice instead of having the courage to stand up for what’s right…

“Being fearless is simply doing the work. It’s doing the work that it takes to recognize you no longer want to function in dysfunction and misery and that you would actually like to be happy and not just say you’re happy.” —Gabrielle Union

2.

This AFI clip of Dustin Huffman discussing his process with the character Dorothy Michaels in Tootsie has made the rounds today. He began with the question, “How would you be different if you’d been born a woman?” and asked his make-up team to help make him “beautiful.”

“I said [to my wife] ‘I have to make this picture.’ And she said ‘Why?’ I said ‘Because I think I’m an interesting woman when I look at myself onscreen. And I know that if I met myself at a party, I would never talk to that character because she doesn’t fulfill, physically, the demands that we’re brought up to think that women have to have in order for us to ask them out… There’s too many interesting women I have not had the experience to know in this life because I’ve have been brainwashed.’ [Tootsie] was never a comedy for me.” —Dustin Hoffman

Hoffman’s comments about wanting to “pass” as a woman and avoid double-takes when walking down the street made me uncomfortable, but I’m glad he had the insights he did. What if we lived in a world where our social categories didn’t make anyone vulnerable to street harassment, and where “beauty” wasn’t so restrictive that it made “interesting” people invisible?

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Committing to Compassion

I’ve been aware of Compassionate Action Network International’s Charter for Compassion for more than four years now. Yet I only signed it today. I’m not sure why. No reason I can think of sounds right.

But when I re-read the text of the Charter today, I was struck by how worthy of endorsement it is, not simply as text on a webpage but as the inspiration for stronger relationships across social lines. I became the 94,133rd signatory. 

Charter For Compassion logo94,133rd Signatory of the Charter for Compassion

I bet I’m not the only reader who identifies with the Charter’s values but doesn’t feel as strongly connected to the community of thousands that’s evolved around it.

Dr. Karen Armstrong is one of the most visible representatives of this movement and I enjoy her presentations about it: she argues well why the pro-compassion movement adds value to religious and secular communities alike. But in my day-to-day sphere, I don’t hear much about it. I may become a reason for that to change.

The ethic of reciprocity (do unto others as you’d have them do unto you) is native philosophy to many of my friends and colleagues. I’ve studied ethics and moral systems of value as part of my work in an academic ethics center and in my social justice education as well.

But reviewing the text today made me wonder: how many accessible spaces for a discussion of compassion and respectful community are there for people not already engaged in religion or academia or the non-profit sector? Why should this be a conversation that only a subset of society participates in? What would it take to mainstream empathy? What’s the role of emotional intelligence? And how much of this is teach-able?

This is the Charter’s full text:

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.

If this resonates with you too, sign the Charter and consider how you can help to promote these values through your own lifework.