I was going to title this post “Say no so you can say yes,” but I googled the phrase first and found that Zen Habits’ Leo Babauta has already written that thought down. “We have to clear up some space [in our lives],” Babauta writes, “by saying No to things we’d like to do, but […]
Choosing when to answer
I’ve had an email draft sitting in one of my accounts for about a year and a half. It’s a compilation of links and research summaries that would have made a very good answer to a question from a friend of a friend. I spent more than half an hour searching Google and skimming abstracts for them. I […]
Honoring your own limits
When I’ve talked about honoring boundaries in the past, I’ve typically talked about honoring others’ boundaries and respecting their limitations: not asking of them more than they can viably provide; not seeking bread from stones or fruits out of season. I’ve not talked as much about honoring my own boundaries and respecting my own limits. This […]
If a boundary falls in the forest…
Developing sound boundaries and expectations is a basic part of building relationships, whether personal or professional. The process doesn’t work well unless there’s open communication. Confusion and frustration easily result when one party is operating by one set of rules and their peer is using another. Even ways of dissolving relationships like ghosting (disappearing without […]
Don’t sleep where you cook
Helping professionals and social activists are among the many, many kinds of people who really need to pay attention to the space available in their lives for recovery and restoration. I’m completing my second year in a congregational position where I’ve learned a great deal about community life and what works well for people who serve. Working behind the curtain […]